Whatever you need. Done.

Now, a story about a model home that got destroyed by the spoiled family in it, and the man who had to keep the house together.

With all the hype surrounding the return of Arrested Development on Netflix, we’re all on the edge of our seats in anticipation. The Bluth’s house has sustained so many damages, so how much would it cost them to fix the model home? We’re going to use our Price Estimator to give you a glimpse of how much money it would cost to hire pros to fix up the Bluth model home in Sudden Valley.

Carpet Cleaning

When Mrs. Featherbottom needs to impress the children, she does it with grace and elegance. Often, she’s singing a song in her heart and translating common British phrases, but sometimes she tries too hard and thinks she can float from the second floor like Mary Poppins, only to ruin the carpet in the process.

What’s next? Finding the best carpet cleaner in the OC (don’t call it that). Not only is it extremely dangerous not to professionally clean the shards of glass from the carpet, but you’ll also want to clean up the possible blood stains. Here’s an estimated range of carpet cleaning jobs from our price estimator:

When you factor in the type of carpet, the location, and the mess, you’re looking about a $99 price tag for a professional cleaning. It’s a small price to pay to enjoy that new carpet smell and do this:

Interior Painting:

Do you have an actor in your family? I’m sure they’re nowhere as dedicated as Tobias Fünke, the Blue Man Group enthusiast. But with such enthusiasm comes the messy cleanup.

What do you do when you have blue paint all over your walls? Color matching and keeping consistent strokes are all pitfalls if not done correctly. Hiring a pro would be in the following range:

A small paint job covering only one or two walls would probably cost on the lower end, around $172. However, if you want to paint your whole kitchen (we suggest just sticking with blue), the average price will be around $369.

New Kitchen Countertop:

Leave it to Gob to ruin your counter before he can say “Steve Holt.” Did you really expect him to just twist the cap off? Why doesn’t he just use his $3,000 shirt to twist off the cap, C’MON!

You’re going to need to get a brand-new countertop, which can get costly depending on what material you want to use:

This pricing accounts for the pro purchasing the countertop, as opposed to you buying it yourself. A nice granite countertop is solid as a rock, but it can run you around $1000+, while a cheaper material can get as low as $221. Chip in for the nicer material, since you won’t want to burn the counter with the Cornballer.

Flooring Installation:

Cheap construction is bad construction! When your house is merely a model home, you can’t expect the foundation to be flawless.

An issue like your floor caving in should be fixed immediately for the safety of your family (and for preventing cousins from kissing).

Installing a floor is a big job! A cave-in like this one at the Bluth home will probably cost more than $2,000 to fix. Looks like you’ll have to get rid of the Seaward.

Window Installation:

Poor Michael. He’s just trying to be a good guy and save his family’s failing business. It doesn’t help when a snooping reporter comes around and breaks a window.

Luckily, due to the model home’s location, they don’t have to fix the window right away because they’re not vulnerable to break-ins.

But for the rest of us, a broken window is an emergency and should be fixed immediately. Leaving your home open to burglars is making a huge mistake. Here’s an estimate of replacing a window:

On average, a window installation will cost about $191 in the Orange County area. That’s like the same price as… what… 19 bananas?

Total Bluth home remodel: $3,842

$3,842 is a LOT of money for a model home, but pretty soon, it’ll be all worth it. With all the memories spent falling off chairs, slipping on vodka, and stashing your fugitive father in the attic, you can’t put a price tag on the one thing that’s got no choice but to keep them all together. And remember:

We’ve spent a lot of time looking into the reasons why you DIY. Sometimes, you don’t have the skills or the tools or the time to do it yourself. We call this DIFM: do it for me.

And what are the reasons more Americans are choosing DIFM over DIY? In a survey we conducted with the help of Kelton Research, we found out some interesting — and provocative! — information about what people will do (and what they’d give up) to avoid doing their own home improvements.

First things first: One in 10 homeowners who have attempted DIY projects around the house classify the experience as a “disaster.”

From there…

Nearly 25% of homeowners wished they’d hired a professional while they were attempting their DIY project. (Twelve percent of these reluctant DIYers also vowed to never DIY again!)

Of the homeowners surveyed, almost 40% said they spent more time than they’d originally budgeted for the project they tried to DIY. And on the unfortunate side, 23% of respondents admit to fighting with their spouses during the course of the project.

And what would the average American homeowner give up to have a home-service pro at their beck and call?

And the kicker? Twenty percent would give up sex for a year in order to have on-call help from a home-service pro.

Shocking? Maybe not. Employed Americans are increasingly at a time crunch — 27% of respondents say they hired out because they simply did not have the free time to put toward their home projects.

So, the question remains: What would you give up for a little DIFM freedom?

So you got your fancy new promo code… now what? Here’s how to enter your promo codes so you can start saving on your Redbeacon requests!

For new users:
When you get the promo code, you’ll need to create a Redbeacon account, which you can do easily here.

Once you enter your name, phone number, password, and promo code, you’re free to start making requests and using your promo credits when you pay a pro through Redbeacon.

For existing users:
Already have a Redbeacon account? When you get word of a spiffy new promo code, all you have to do is enter it. There are two ways to reach the promo code credit area:

1) From the home page, you can click on the credit button on the top right corner.

Once you enter the promo code, you’ll see your promo code added to the account.

2) From your account settings, you can find the promo code tab on the end.

Click on it, and then enter your given promo code.

Now that you’ve successfully stored your credits, you can use them when you pay through Redbeacon’s payment system. The credits only work when you pay your pro through Redbeacon; otherwise, a pro has no obligation to honor your discount.

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter to keep up to date on the latest promo codes and keep saving on your home improvement projects!

Some things just make sense.

For example, when you start a process online, you expect to finish it online, right? We do.

Starting now, the process you start on Redbeacon.com you’ll be able to finish online as well! Here’s how it works:

Request a service on Redbeacon.com. You still get online access to the same great pros who are available in your area to complete your home project.

Select a pro. Our pros can now submit more detailed responses than ever before. You can select the response that best works for you, your project, and your schedule.

Link your credit card. If you don’t already have one logged in our system, we’ll collect your credit card number. Don’t worry — we won’t charge you until the pro has done the work and you’ve given us the thumbs-up.

Approve the invoice. Once the project has been done to your specifications, you’ll receive an invoice from the pro, straight to your inbox or smartphone. All you have to do is accept the invoice, at which point we charge your credit card and the money is instantly zipped straight over to the pro.

It’ll be easier for you — no fumbling for checks or cash or haggling over the price when it comes time to pay your pro — and it’ll be easy for your pro to keep track of the money he or she earns through Redbeacon.

And we think this just makes sense.

We’re kicking off the new year right!

Starting today, you’ll be able to find Redbeacon in your local Las Vegas-area Home Depot, ready to help you with your home projects in 2013. And just in time, too: You’ve made important resolutions for the house you live in, and we’re swooping in to make sure you meet all your goals for the new year.

Now, Redbeacon is able to connect you with the perfect pro for every kind of project around your house. You’ll be able to find someone to create the perfect succulent garden in your yard. Need some window shades to blot out that pesky desert sun? We’ll connect you with someone who’ll get them on your panes. Want to make your dream kitchen a reality? Redbeacon’s got the pros who can make it happen.

So bet on Redbeacon. We’re a sure thing.

We all know what Black Friday is, that venerable shopping holiday that causes us to snap out of our tryptophan comas and complete our holiday shopping in one fell swoop.

Now, let us introduce you to Brown Friday. Also the day after Thanksgiving, this lesser known (and definitely less talked-about) holiday is your recovery from your Thanksgiving feast… and your local plumber’s busiest day of the year. For all the reasons you’re imagining.

Having to get last-minute plumbing issues taken care of is problematic on holiday weekends jam-packed with company, houseguests, and, yes, more eating. Check out our infographic about the havok Brown Friday can wreak on your holiday entertaining.

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is the most recognizable address in the country. But what if the commander-in-chief commanded that the house should have green shutters? A dome on the roof? A view-obscuring row of those famous D.C. cherry trees?

The president determined in today’s election wouldn’t be the first to make changes to 1600 Pennsylvania. Mr. 44 himself started a project to have 100-year-old water lines replaced, and he and Michelle put about $100,000 of their own money into sprucing up the decor.

After all, the White House was originally constructed under the oversight of George Washington, and after its partial completion, John Adams moved in in 1800. Have you ever met a house that’s more than 200 years old and didn’t need renovation? We sure haven’t. Here’s a rundown of some of the routine maintenance our presidents have done on the White House over the past 212 years:

Just goes to show you: Absolutely no house is immune to maintenance and renovation.

by Redbeacon’s haunted-house specialist, Gregg Hanano

Halloween is that magical time of the year where it’s okay to eat all the candy you want, dress up like someone else, and, best of all, scare people you don’t know. What other holiday celebrates with the return of candy corn? Easy: NO OTHER HOLIDAYS.

Trick-or-treating is great, but if you’re more into the trick than the treat, you’ll want to create your own haunted house. It’s a great way to bring a community together, scare your neighbors and friends, and finally have a reason to not clean out the cobwebs. But making a haunted house isn’t something that’s thrown together overnight. As long as you include these five essential scare tactics into your homemade haunted house, you’ll be the talk of the (ghostly) town!

1. Fog and Mirrors: Fog and mirrors are some of the most basic needs for any great haunted house. They can cause disorientation, confusion, and best of all, they give you a place to hide. Fog blurs your sense of sight, taking any feeling of safety with it. With consideration to mirrors, have you ever heard of Bloody Mary? The story where you turn off the lights and scream “Bloody Mary” three times so she’ll appear in the mirror? The best way to use fog and mirrors together is to cause your customers to follow their way into the foggy bathroom where they’ll encounter a blood-written message of “GO BACK.” When they turn around, Bloody Mary will be there to greet them. Whoa… chills. Did you feel that?

2. Spooky Children with Long Black Hair: If there’s one thing I’ve learned from horror movies, it’s that children are creepy. But what is it about children that freak us out? You know you could successfully take on a haunted youngster if one attacked you, but if one crawls out of the TV? Game over. This is where the costumes of your co-conspirators play a huge role. Get a girl with long black hair (or use a wig) and put her in a corner where she can be barely seen. When customers walk up and spot her, tell her to not move anything but her head. And then when they don’t know what to do, slowly reach out and follow them.

3. Element of Surprise: What’s the best part of any horror movie? Probably that suspenseful moment when you think something is going to happen but then never does. Set up an obvious situation to scare someone, like a fully closed body bag that says “Open Me.” Your patrons will think that someone is going to pop out as soon as they unzip it. They’ll contemplate for a bit and try to convince each other to open it. (You can enjoy the entertaining dialogue from the safety of another room.) When they finally do and nothing happens, they’ll be relieved. And that’s when you jump out from behind.

4. Lighting: Now, you might be asking, “Why lighting? Shouldn’t it be pitch black?” Yes, it should. But don’t make the mistake of giving your customers a regular ol’ flashlight to use as they travel through your haunted maze. Instead, hand over a strobe light. Have you ever freaked out when you thought you saw something out of the corner of your eye but you’re not sure? Picture that every time the strobe light flashes. The constant change of light to dark will cause your eyes and your brain to go on the fritz. Combine it with the fog, and you have a recipe for madness.

5. Timing: Nothing kills a haunted house experience like seeing other customers. It takes away that sense of being alone and having no one to hear them scream. We’d recommend having only groups of two go through your house, and, depending on the amount of customers you have, make the groups go one at a time. That way, you can provide all the care and attention needed to really scare the bejeezus out of someone.

With all of these scare tactics, your homemade haunted house is sure to be a bang! But always be sure to keep it safe and just have fun. And don’t forget to give them one last scare as they exit the house!

Need some help gathering the materials for your haunted house? You can enter to win a $500 gift card from The Home Depot!

Notice anything different?

A few months ago, we promised you big changes from Redbeacon HQ. Now it’s time for you to experience the things we’ve been hard at work on!

Starting now, you’ll be able to access Redbeacon within the walls of your local Home Depot, if you live in the metro areas of San Francisco, Atlanta, Austin, and Dallas. Here, you’ll be able to request Redbeacon services while you shop in the store: Need help hanging the ceiling fan you just bought? Overwhelmed by the amount of mulch needed to spruce up your garden? The Home Depot has the materials you need, and Redbeacon will supply the pros to do the job for you.

Just stop one of Home Depot’s whip-smart store associates, and they’ll be able to assist you in putting in a job request in the store.

Outside of these four metro areas? Keep your eyes peeled, because we’ll be headed your way soon!

With the 4th of July around the corner, we all should be concerned about one thing: the freedom to light fireworks. But let’s not be that dumb neighbor who sets everyone’s house on fire.

With the dry air, grass, and hot weather, Mother Nature isn’t going to do you any favors. To prepare for such a disaster, you can follow some dos and don’ts of fire safety.

DO keep a fire extinguisher on every level of your house. There are four different classes of a fire (labeled A, B, C, and D), and most home or office fire extinguishers only need to cover A, B, and C. Make sure to also keep an extinguisher in the kitchen, basement, and garage.
DON’T assume that buckets of water will do the trick. Some fires might be gas- or oil-related, which cannot be put out by water.

DO check your fire alarms regularly. And if you haven’t already, install carbon monoxide detectors. Alarms should be located on every floor of the house. Local codes, however, might require more, so check with your fire department or building-code official for more information. For maximum protection, install both ionization and photoelectric alarms to detect a fast-moving fire or a slow, smoldering one.
DON’T place alarms on the floor or near air vents. The alarms should always be placed on or near the ceiling. Also, don’t forget to change the batteries every 6 months.

DO prepare an escape plan. Teach your kids, in case they’re in a fire, to stay calm, stay low, and feel doors with the backs of their hands. Figure out possible routes to exit the house and where to meet after they escape. Make sure each member of the family practices exiting the house on their hands and knees and maybe even blindfolded, since some passageways might be filled with dense smoke.
DON’T try to save items in the house. Don’t try to chase after pets and don’t try to get dressed. Under no circumstances should you or your children try to re-enter the house. Call 911 as soon as you’re outside and immediately state your location. Firemen (or if you’re lucky and your neighbor is Mayor Cory Booker) are trained to enter hazardous areas and can rescue victims inside the house.

There is only so much we can do to prevent a fire in the house. And until there’s a magical paint that repels sparks, we can do nothing about our neighbors who blast off illegal fireworks either. What we do have control over is preparing our houses and our families for the worst.